Have you found that special someone that you want to begin a relationship with? Are you lost on how to keep your relationship focused on God and lead you down the aisle in a worthy manner? I have 6 Christian dating tips to offer that I lived by and used in my own relationship.
I think every little girl grows up dreaming of finding the perfect man and one day marrying him. As a little girl I never had my wedding all planned out or obsessed over it. But I must say…
I secretly love weddings!
There is something so beautiful and encouraging about a man and a woman committing themselves to each other before God, friends and family.
Currently, I’m at an age where everyone around me is getting married…finally!
After 6 and a half years of marriage I am by no means an expert…far from it actually. I do however have more experience than that newlywed out there. Recently, we attended my baby sister’s wedding and it got me reminiscing about my and Hunter’s relationship.
I firmly believe marriage is a sacred commitment between a man and a woman before God. I do not take this commitment lightly and it saddens me when I see marriages torn apart. God intended marriage to be a peaceful, beautiful and loving union but sadly our sin nature has distorted that.
So, while my marriage has its tough times it’s perfect for one major reason…it is centered on Christ. He is the foundation for my marriage. He is the joy in my marriage. My marriage is a picture of the church as Christ’s bride. I could go on all day about why I love having a Godly marriage but I won’t.
Anyway, my sister’s wedding got me thinking about meeting Hunter and knowing he was “the one”.
I started wondering if I could go back in time and give my younger self some Christian focused dating tips before marriage what would it be?
Would I have dated more than just Hunter?
Would I have told myself to wait longer or less before getting married?
What would I have told myself to look for?
Would I have changed anything?
You know…those “what if I could write a letter to younger me” type situations.
Before I ever started dating I created a “wish” list of things I wanted in a husband. Now to look back at that list from teenage Morgan would make you chuckle and probably embarrass me. However, even as a teenager the #1 requirement for my future husband was he needed to be a man after God.
I thought it would be fun to put together a list of Christian dating tips, advice and what-to-look for before heading into marriage.
I certainly received a Godly man as a husband! He loves me but more importantly he loves God more. Because he puts God first, our marriage has been one with Christ at the foundation and one that has stood strong through adversity.
My Christian Dating Advice Leading up to Marriage
Without further ado, here is what I think every young lady or any woman should look for in a man, consider or do before marriage. My top Christian dating tips and advice if you will.
1. Man after God
This is my number one Christian dating tip because it is the foundation for the rest of this list. A man after God is going to be one who loves as Christ and puts others before himself. He is going to be a man who treats you with the utmost respect because he values you and loves you as Christ does.
A godly man builds a godly marriage. A godly marriage with Christ at the core will stand the test of time. This man will display characteristics of Christ so be on the lookout for them.
2. Observe Him in Social Settings First
Watch him…not in a creepy way o.k..
What I mean by this is observe how he is around others. Is he kind to those around him? Does he put others first? Does he become easily irritated or is he patient with stressful situations?
By watching him and seeing how he acts around others and in different situations you will learn more about his character. The last thing you want is to enter into a relationship with someone who isn’t going to treat you right and ultimately break your heart.
Before Hunter and I started dating I made sure to watch him in various social settings and see how he interacted with others and handled different aspects of life.
3. Watch How He Treats His Mom and/or Sisters
A dating tip my dad gave me was to watch how a guy treated his mom and/or sister(s). The reason being that however he treated them would be how he would most likely treat his wife. Now, this may not be applicable in every situation due to family circumstances but look at how the guy treats the mother figure in his life.
My husband didn’t grow up living with his mom for most of his childhood. However, he still treated her with respect. He made an effort to call her, visit her and be a part of her life despite what he had been through as a child.
If you find a guy who treats his mom and sisters like gold then chances are he will treat you as such. Don’t dismiss this one lightly with the excuse of “he treats her like that but he would never treat me like that because I’m not like…”
This is a lie you are telling yourself and it will lead to heartache.
4. Pray about Him and over Him
This piece of dating advice can be applied before you ever meet the man that will be your husband. My parents prayed over my husband from the time I was born and that is what I do with my children now.
My parents instilled in me the desire to pray for the man I would one day marry before I ever met him. When you do meet the guy you think is the one my advice is to pray about it and him. Pray and ask God to show you who He has for you.
God doesn’t make mistakes or steer us wrong. If you seek Him and truly listen then He will show you whether that cutie is the man you are meant to be with. I spent so much time praying about whether I should even date Hunter before I ever committed. I wanted to make sure I was making the right choice and not just blindly following my emotions and hormones.
Don’t stop praying either once you start dating him. Continue to pray and seek God because if he isn’t the one then it is far better to find out while dating rather than once you are married.
5. Seek Godly Counsel
This is a BIG one!! Before I ever entered into a relationship with Hunter I sought out Godly counsel from those who I admired spiritually. I remember calling my parents and asking their advice on what I should do. I asked friends if they noticed any red flags or reasons to not date.
It was important to me to make sure those around me didn’t have any reservations or concerns before I entered into a relationship. This is key because often we don’t see the red flags because we are blinded by love.
Don’t wait around for people to approach you with these concerns. Be proactive and seek Godly wisdom and advice from the start and even once you get engaged.
6. Set Boundaries from the start
Once you find that perfect guy and start dating I suggest you set boundaries immediately. It is much harder to set boundaries after you have already crossed lines you never wanted to.
Decide beforehand what you are comfortable with and what you don’t want to do and let the guy know. Don’t be afraid of him not wanting to date you because honestly, if he doesn’t accept your boundaries then is he really worth it?
One of the things I decided was to save my first kiss for the man I was to marry. When I would tell people that, guys would usually make some comment about how they could never date a girl who put that boundary in a relationship. My response would always be “Well, then thankfully you aren’t going to be the one to date me.”
When I told Hunter this he agreed and not once did he pressure me to push that boundary or make me feel odd for having it. If he wasn’t completely on board then he never let me know because I was more important.
Set boundaries, talk about it together and decide what works for you.
Christian Dating Relationships focused on God
These are the most important things that I would go back and tell myself. Sure there are other things I would probably say to myself that would be specific to me but overall these would be my big encouragements.
One Christian dating tip that I saw recently was to read 1 Corinthians 13 and everywhere the word “love” appears to insert the guy’s name. It would look something like this:
Hunter is patient, Hunter is kind, Hunter does not…
If he doesn’t match the description then he is not ready for marriage and possibly not the one to date. Now with this understand that we are human and cannot obtain perfection without Christ. So, naturally the guy is not going to fit 100% but it needs to be a majority of the time kind of thing.
Pray continually and seek God as you enter into your relationship, engagement and marriage.
The biggest thing I can encourage is prayer and spending time with God because it will transform you and your outlook. The more you focus on Jesus the more you become like Him and can understand what God has for you.
Are you dating, recently engaged or married? What advice would you give your younger self? Let me know in the comments below!